Climbing Everest: A Journey of Believing, Confessing, and Repenting

There are so many who will say that they are Christ followers simply because they believe in Christ or raised their hand to repeat a prayer in church one Sunday morning.  Don't misunderstand me, those are great first steps, but that's exactly what they are...first steps.  It's like standing at the foot of Everest and claiming you've climbed it.  Even at that, I believe there is confusion on what that first step entails.  In Mark 1:15, Christ states, "The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand.  REPENT, and BELIEVE in the gospel."  I want to take a look at these two words, repent and believe, as well as the word confession.  The definition of believe in our language is to "accept as true".  Many have made that first step based on their understanding of the word, but we need to look deeper.  The Greek word for believe is pisteuo, which means to fully place your trust in.  When Christ called us to "believe" in Him, he was not asking you to acknowledge His existence but to place your entire life in His hands with complete trust. Let's look back at the analogy of Everest.  If you were standing at the base of Everest with your guide to the top, there is a big difference in believing in their existence and believing in their ability to guide you to top.  The latter takes significantly more trust.
You never hear of individuals climbing Everest, you hear of teams.  When you take that step to trust in your guide, you become part of a team of believers.

Being part of a team requires trust in each other, as well as the guide.  This is where confession comes into play.  The Greek word for confess is homologeo, which means to acknowledge.  You are publicly acknowledging your sins / struggles.  It is important to confess to God for His forgiveness (1 John 1:9), but we are called to confess our sins to one another as well.  This is where I see tremendous value in small groups.  This is where you will establish a community of believers that you trust enough to be open and honest with your struggles.  James 5:16 says to "confess to one another and pray for one another.  For the prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective."  The purpose of confessing in a community is for prayer to support and help carry you through.  When you confess, others in your community can now recognize your struggles and provide assistance.

Now that you have a guide to trust (believe) and team that supports you (confession), it's time to evaluate your life.  Admitting you have a struggle or have made mistakes isn't enough.  Admitting you have a hard time remembering to bring the right gear to your team before heading up Everest is good for them to know, so they can help you, by making changes in your life's routine to ensure you don't show up without the oxygen tanks you were required to bring is essential.  This is a picture of repentence.  For years, I didn't fully understand this word (and I'm still learning).  I saw repentence and confession as equals.  Repent was simply another word for stating my struggles.  Then I learned the Greek word for repent:  metanoeo - to change your mind, change the inner man.  I see repentence defined in Romans 12:2, which states, "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind."   Sounds simple enough right?  Just change how you think.  If you're like me, that's no simple task.  I have years of struggles, anger, and bad habits I have to work past.

Again, like climbing Everest, this is no simple task, but we know there is an incredible reward waiting at the top.  So, how do we do this?  I believe the answer is found is Deuteronomy 6:6-9. It states, "These commands that I give you today are to be on your hearts.  Impress them on your children.  Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.  Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.  Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates."  In other words, make following Christ part of everything you do.  Start and end your day in prayer, place "symbols" or reminders around you that will stand as reminders of who you are called to be, surround yourself with believers that allow you to hold conversations about your journey, and make your home a place honoring to God.

The last thing I want to say is to allow yourself grace to struggle.  If you read of teams that climb Everest, their journeys include trips part way up, then back down.  Many times they need to repeat this process over and over again to acclimate to the altitude.  Our walk is not much different.  Our journey is not a straight line to the top.  It's a journey of ups and downs, but it is a journey where we are called to continue moving in the upward direction.  Like the successful climbers of Everest, we may have times we have to move back down the mountain, but we must never lose sight of the reward waiting at the top.

Intentional Words

I'm reading through a book called "Victory Over The Darkness" by Neil Anderson.  It is a great book on your identity in Christ, but I want to focus on one point that was made in my reading today.  "Studies have shown that, in the average home, for every positive statement, a child receives 10 negative statements.  The school environment is only slightly better; students hear seven negative statements from their teachers for every one positive statement...These studies go on to point out that it takes four positive statements to negate the effect of one negative statement."  

If you are like me, when you first read that, you thought to yourself, there's no way that is true in my home.  But, if you are like me and are honest with yourself, you will realize it is probably very true.  Here is what I have realized through my own reflection on this statement.  If my kids are behaving well, I don't necessarily think to tell them how much I appreciate their good behavior.   I just enjoy the moment.  However, if my kids interrupt me or act in a way that inconveniences me, I'm quick to point out their bad behavior.  

Just the other night, I sat down with my 11 year old and 13 year old to tell them how proud I was of them.  They were both grinning ear to ear as I told them.  Although this was a great moment, the fact that it meant so much to them also shows that I need to do it more often.  This doesn't just apply to our kids, but to our spouse, co-workers, church members, or even complete strangers.  People want to be encouraged and know it is recognized at all ages.  

Here's my challenge for myself, and I hope you will join me.  Be intentional with your words.  Maybe the place to start is bedtime.  When you put your kids to bed, tell them one thing you are really proud of them for that day.  Be watchful through out the day for opportunities that you may overlook because your kids are simply playing quietly and let them know they are making you proud.  I believe that you will not only see their confidence rise, but you will see them develop the habit of encouraging that they see you modeling.  

What's your story?

One of the greatest blessings of my job is being located in downtown Chattanooga, a city of great coffee shops.  This has given me the opportunity to sit with so many guys and ask a simple question.  "What is your story?"  Too often as guys, we meet and ask "What do you do for a living?", "Are married/kids?", or "Which church do you go to?"   I'm not saying these aren't valid questions, but I love to see the look on guys faces when asked what their story is.  So many times, I've gotten the "Man, I never really thought of that" look.  Then we begin to take a journey through their life.  Some will jump back to childhood and some will jump into who they are today.  I've learned that guys want to tell their wins and their losses.  We, as men, may put up a tough front, but we really want to be heard.  We want to know that someone else understands where we're coming from.
I have sat with men who are broken and men who run successful men's ministries.  The amazing thing is, that many times, the struggles are the same for both.  I've sat with men that I thought were untouchable with their walk with God and heard stories of incredible heart break and breakthrough.  I've sat with homeless men and heard incredible stories of faith.

I love to follow up with the question, "If money wasn't an issue, what would you do with your life?"  Once you know their story, this unlocks their passions.  So many times, I've heard "I've always wanted to..."  Maybe that conversation will re-ignite a passion to chase that dream again or maybe not, but I love to see guys talk about their passions.
Here's my part of the conversation.  I'm an open book.  I talk about my own struggles and failures, as well as my own successes as they relate to the conversation.  Those of you who have read my previous blogs or ever sat with me for long at all, know this about me.  Maybe to a fault.  It used to be a way of me unloading my own struggles, and at times it still is.  Mostly, it's to let these guys know that we all struggle, we all have dreams, and we all have a story.
The last thing I like to ask, and I don't always expect an answer, but I like to leave them thinking, is "How can God use your story for His glory?"
So, if you ever want to meet up for coffee and talk life, passion, and how to let God use us, let's do it.

Special Calling

In high school, I had a talk with my mom one night about a special needs boy that I knew.  I can remember telling her that I could never imagine being a parent of a special needs kid.  I never thought that I would be able to handle it.  Later in life, I would get married and have two healthy boys.  I was happy where I was.  When my wife brought up the idea of having another child, I thought back to that conversation with my mom.  I had two healthy boys, and I was scared to risk it.  After some time, we decided to have a third, and twenty-four weeks into my wife's pregnancy, one of my fears would become a reality.  My wife gave birth to a 1 pound 6 ounce baby boy, named Caleb.  A boy that would undergo numerous surgeries and would spend the first 6 months of his life in a hospital.  While he was fighting physical battles, I was fighting my own battles.  Part of me was mad at God for giving me something that I never wanted, and part of me blamed myself for "speaking this" into being.  Over the next few years, he would slowly gain strength, and I would slowly accept my new role as a special needs father.

In 2014, my wife would give birth to another boy, named Nathaniel.  Everything seemed great.  Then we got another diagnosis.  My youngest was diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum.  I felt numb.  Just when I thought I was getting a grip on having a special needs child, why would God allow another one in my life?  I didn't understand, and I didn't know how I was going to manage being a dad to my four boys and the husband that my wife would need.

Some days were better than others, but there was one night that changed my outlook.  A night where I finally felt like it started to make sense to me.  My wife had called me at work and asked if I wanted to go to Rock City to see the Christmas lights.  For those of you who may not know, Rock City is a tourist attraction on top of Lookout Mountain just south of Chattanooga.  I agreed, because I knew she had really been wanting to, but honestly, I dreaded it.  There are places that my wheelchair bound son can't go, and I had a two year old autistic child to chase around a mountain top covered in Christmas lights, at night, in the dark.  I had already decided before we left that it was going to be another miserable night that I couldn't enjoy like most families, because I was a special needs father.

As we began to drive up the mountain, I felt like God was telling me to go all in that night.  I don't know how to fully explain it, and I honestly don't remember everything that went through my head on that drive up.  I just remember feeling like God was telling me to go all in that night.  As we entered into Rock City, the guide there warned us that our 5 year old wouldn't be able to go all the way down the first trail that we decided to go on.  I decided to give it our best shot.  We squeezed through some tight places and slowly worked our way up some stairs before we finally came to a place that I simply couldn't get through.  I told my wife to take the other three on through, and I would meet them on the other side.  As I left with Caleb, we came to a tunnel of lights, and I could see Caleb looking around, so I grabbed his handles, and we ran as fast as we could through the tunnel.  As the lights zipped past us, both of us broke into laughter.  As we exited the end of the tunnel of lights, we turned and worked our way to an overlook.  From here, you can see seven states during the day, but at night, you get a beautiful view of Chattanooga below.  As we pulled up to the overlook, Caleb pulled himself up and stared out to the city below.  

In that moment, it hit me.  Here I stood at the top of a mountain, and the view was beautiful.  To get there, I had squeezed through some tight areas and slowly worked my way up some stairs.  I felt like that night was a representation of the previous, nearly six years of my life.  The only difference was, this time I was seeing the view as beautiful.  I stood up there and began to cry as I realized that I was missing the beautiful moments, because I was staying focused on the challenges.  

I said earlier that night was the "start" of things making sense.  I still have my days that I struggle, but I often reflect back to that  moment on the mountain, and this year, I was anxious to make that trip back up there.

As I reflect back over the last seven years now, I have learned so much, and my faith has grown tremendously, as I have faced moments that I had to rely on God.  I thought that was His purpose in this, but I believe there was more.  There are things that many of you can apply to your lives, even if you never have a special needs kid.  

1) Enjoy life where you are.  It is so easy to focus on what is going wrong and miss what is going right. 

2) God is our Father.  Like any father, He wants to hear from us.  Some of my greatest healing moments were talking to God when I was the angriest.

3) We don't know what God has in store for us.  We may think we know where life is going, but we are likely wrong.  I never thought I would be a special needs father.  I definitely never thought that God would teach me to love it. You have to continue to push forward and trust.

4) Share your story, no matter how ugly.  I am blown away at how many families I've met with special needs kids.  You never know how many people are struggling and feeling alone with the same struggle you have.  

5) I have come to learn that these special needs kids are actually special forces kids.  They are tough, resilient, and can pull you into their world full of love.