The Elephant in the Room

When they are just babies, circus elephants are chained to a relatively small stake in the ground.  This stake is just big enough that the young elephants are unable to pull them out of the ground to make an escape.  The elephants, known for their great memory, will continue to grow and remember that they were not able to pull that stake from the ground.  As they grow into large and powerful animals, the memory of that stake will keep them pinned to the ground, even though they have grown to have enough strength to easily pull it from the ground and escape. 
Many of us are living the same way in our own lives.  Though our relationship with Christ has allowed us to grow and have enough strength to easily walk away from the things in our past, we continue to let their memory pin us to the ground.  We may judge ourselves by what we've done in the past and not allow ourselves to move forward in who God has called us to be.  Maybe it's something someone else has done, and we're pinned down by anger.  No matter the "stake", we allow it to keep us from experiencing the true freedom that is available to each of us. 
For me, I lived with anger and bitterness towards my dad for not being a part of my life.  I blamed him for my shortcomings as a father and husband, because he had never taught me to be either.  This was my stake.  It would consume me to the point that I was more comfortable being angry than happy.  So, how did I move forward? 
First of all, I found a couple of guys that I fully trusted to talk through my struggles with.  Honestly, I didn't really know how bad of an issue this was for me until I began to share with these men.  It was through these conversations that I began to find healing.
Second was forgiveness, and not just from me to my dad.  I came to realize that I was more angry with myself than I was with my dad.  I had to forgive myself before I could ever truly forgive him.  Forgiving myself was way harder than forgiving my dad.  Once I had forgiven myself and allowed myself to accept God's forgiveness, forgiving my dad was the easy part. 
What you are struggling with may be completely different than my situation, but I pray that you will be able to recognize as I did that your past is just a stake, and you will pull it from the ground and be free.