Climbing Everest: A Journey of Believing, Confessing, and Repenting

There are so many who will say that they are Christ followers simply because they believe in Christ or raised their hand to repeat a prayer in church one Sunday morning.  Don't misunderstand me, those are great first steps, but that's exactly what they are...first steps.  It's like standing at the foot of Everest and claiming you've climbed it.  Even at that, I believe there is confusion on what that first step entails.  In Mark 1:15, Christ states, "The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand.  REPENT, and BELIEVE in the gospel."  I want to take a look at these two words, repent and believe, as well as the word confession.  The definition of believe in our language is to "accept as true".  Many have made that first step based on their understanding of the word, but we need to look deeper.  The Greek word for believe is pisteuo, which means to fully place your trust in.  When Christ called us to "believe" in Him, he was not asking you to acknowledge His existence but to place your entire life in His hands with complete trust. Let's look back at the analogy of Everest.  If you were standing at the base of Everest with your guide to the top, there is a big difference in believing in their existence and believing in their ability to guide you to top.  The latter takes significantly more trust.
You never hear of individuals climbing Everest, you hear of teams.  When you take that step to trust in your guide, you become part of a team of believers.

Being part of a team requires trust in each other, as well as the guide.  This is where confession comes into play.  The Greek word for confess is homologeo, which means to acknowledge.  You are publicly acknowledging your sins / struggles.  It is important to confess to God for His forgiveness (1 John 1:9), but we are called to confess our sins to one another as well.  This is where I see tremendous value in small groups.  This is where you will establish a community of believers that you trust enough to be open and honest with your struggles.  James 5:16 says to "confess to one another and pray for one another.  For the prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective."  The purpose of confessing in a community is for prayer to support and help carry you through.  When you confess, others in your community can now recognize your struggles and provide assistance.

Now that you have a guide to trust (believe) and team that supports you (confession), it's time to evaluate your life.  Admitting you have a struggle or have made mistakes isn't enough.  Admitting you have a hard time remembering to bring the right gear to your team before heading up Everest is good for them to know, so they can help you, by making changes in your life's routine to ensure you don't show up without the oxygen tanks you were required to bring is essential.  This is a picture of repentence.  For years, I didn't fully understand this word (and I'm still learning).  I saw repentence and confession as equals.  Repent was simply another word for stating my struggles.  Then I learned the Greek word for repent:  metanoeo - to change your mind, change the inner man.  I see repentence defined in Romans 12:2, which states, "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind."   Sounds simple enough right?  Just change how you think.  If you're like me, that's no simple task.  I have years of struggles, anger, and bad habits I have to work past.

Again, like climbing Everest, this is no simple task, but we know there is an incredible reward waiting at the top.  So, how do we do this?  I believe the answer is found is Deuteronomy 6:6-9. It states, "These commands that I give you today are to be on your hearts.  Impress them on your children.  Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.  Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.  Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates."  In other words, make following Christ part of everything you do.  Start and end your day in prayer, place "symbols" or reminders around you that will stand as reminders of who you are called to be, surround yourself with believers that allow you to hold conversations about your journey, and make your home a place honoring to God.

The last thing I want to say is to allow yourself grace to struggle.  If you read of teams that climb Everest, their journeys include trips part way up, then back down.  Many times they need to repeat this process over and over again to acclimate to the altitude.  Our walk is not much different.  Our journey is not a straight line to the top.  It's a journey of ups and downs, but it is a journey where we are called to continue moving in the upward direction.  Like the successful climbers of Everest, we may have times we have to move back down the mountain, but we must never lose sight of the reward waiting at the top.

Intentional Words

I'm reading through a book called "Victory Over The Darkness" by Neil Anderson.  It is a great book on your identity in Christ, but I want to focus on one point that was made in my reading today.  "Studies have shown that, in the average home, for every positive statement, a child receives 10 negative statements.  The school environment is only slightly better; students hear seven negative statements from their teachers for every one positive statement...These studies go on to point out that it takes four positive statements to negate the effect of one negative statement."  

If you are like me, when you first read that, you thought to yourself, there's no way that is true in my home.  But, if you are like me and are honest with yourself, you will realize it is probably very true.  Here is what I have realized through my own reflection on this statement.  If my kids are behaving well, I don't necessarily think to tell them how much I appreciate their good behavior.   I just enjoy the moment.  However, if my kids interrupt me or act in a way that inconveniences me, I'm quick to point out their bad behavior.  

Just the other night, I sat down with my 11 year old and 13 year old to tell them how proud I was of them.  They were both grinning ear to ear as I told them.  Although this was a great moment, the fact that it meant so much to them also shows that I need to do it more often.  This doesn't just apply to our kids, but to our spouse, co-workers, church members, or even complete strangers.  People want to be encouraged and know it is recognized at all ages.  

Here's my challenge for myself, and I hope you will join me.  Be intentional with your words.  Maybe the place to start is bedtime.  When you put your kids to bed, tell them one thing you are really proud of them for that day.  Be watchful through out the day for opportunities that you may overlook because your kids are simply playing quietly and let them know they are making you proud.  I believe that you will not only see their confidence rise, but you will see them develop the habit of encouraging that they see you modeling.  

What's your story?

One of the greatest blessings of my job is being located in downtown Chattanooga, a city of great coffee shops.  This has given me the opportunity to sit with so many guys and ask a simple question.  "What is your story?"  Too often as guys, we meet and ask "What do you do for a living?", "Are married/kids?", or "Which church do you go to?"   I'm not saying these aren't valid questions, but I love to see the look on guys faces when asked what their story is.  So many times, I've gotten the "Man, I never really thought of that" look.  Then we begin to take a journey through their life.  Some will jump back to childhood and some will jump into who they are today.  I've learned that guys want to tell their wins and their losses.  We, as men, may put up a tough front, but we really want to be heard.  We want to know that someone else understands where we're coming from.
I have sat with men who are broken and men who run successful men's ministries.  The amazing thing is, that many times, the struggles are the same for both.  I've sat with men that I thought were untouchable with their walk with God and heard stories of incredible heart break and breakthrough.  I've sat with homeless men and heard incredible stories of faith.

I love to follow up with the question, "If money wasn't an issue, what would you do with your life?"  Once you know their story, this unlocks their passions.  So many times, I've heard "I've always wanted to..."  Maybe that conversation will re-ignite a passion to chase that dream again or maybe not, but I love to see guys talk about their passions.
Here's my part of the conversation.  I'm an open book.  I talk about my own struggles and failures, as well as my own successes as they relate to the conversation.  Those of you who have read my previous blogs or ever sat with me for long at all, know this about me.  Maybe to a fault.  It used to be a way of me unloading my own struggles, and at times it still is.  Mostly, it's to let these guys know that we all struggle, we all have dreams, and we all have a story.
The last thing I like to ask, and I don't always expect an answer, but I like to leave them thinking, is "How can God use your story for His glory?"
So, if you ever want to meet up for coffee and talk life, passion, and how to let God use us, let's do it.

Special Calling

In high school, I had a talk with my mom one night about a special needs boy that I knew.  I can remember telling her that I could never imagine being a parent of a special needs kid.  I never thought that I would be able to handle it.  Later in life, I would get married and have two healthy boys.  I was happy where I was.  When my wife brought up the idea of having another child, I thought back to that conversation with my mom.  I had two healthy boys, and I was scared to risk it.  After some time, we decided to have a third, and twenty-four weeks into my wife's pregnancy, one of my fears would become a reality.  My wife gave birth to a 1 pound 6 ounce baby boy, named Caleb.  A boy that would undergo numerous surgeries and would spend the first 6 months of his life in a hospital.  While he was fighting physical battles, I was fighting my own battles.  Part of me was mad at God for giving me something that I never wanted, and part of me blamed myself for "speaking this" into being.  Over the next few years, he would slowly gain strength, and I would slowly accept my new role as a special needs father.

In 2014, my wife would give birth to another boy, named Nathaniel.  Everything seemed great.  Then we got another diagnosis.  My youngest was diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum.  I felt numb.  Just when I thought I was getting a grip on having a special needs child, why would God allow another one in my life?  I didn't understand, and I didn't know how I was going to manage being a dad to my four boys and the husband that my wife would need.

Some days were better than others, but there was one night that changed my outlook.  A night where I finally felt like it started to make sense to me.  My wife had called me at work and asked if I wanted to go to Rock City to see the Christmas lights.  For those of you who may not know, Rock City is a tourist attraction on top of Lookout Mountain just south of Chattanooga.  I agreed, because I knew she had really been wanting to, but honestly, I dreaded it.  There are places that my wheelchair bound son can't go, and I had a two year old autistic child to chase around a mountain top covered in Christmas lights, at night, in the dark.  I had already decided before we left that it was going to be another miserable night that I couldn't enjoy like most families, because I was a special needs father.

As we began to drive up the mountain, I felt like God was telling me to go all in that night.  I don't know how to fully explain it, and I honestly don't remember everything that went through my head on that drive up.  I just remember feeling like God was telling me to go all in that night.  As we entered into Rock City, the guide there warned us that our 5 year old wouldn't be able to go all the way down the first trail that we decided to go on.  I decided to give it our best shot.  We squeezed through some tight places and slowly worked our way up some stairs before we finally came to a place that I simply couldn't get through.  I told my wife to take the other three on through, and I would meet them on the other side.  As I left with Caleb, we came to a tunnel of lights, and I could see Caleb looking around, so I grabbed his handles, and we ran as fast as we could through the tunnel.  As the lights zipped past us, both of us broke into laughter.  As we exited the end of the tunnel of lights, we turned and worked our way to an overlook.  From here, you can see seven states during the day, but at night, you get a beautiful view of Chattanooga below.  As we pulled up to the overlook, Caleb pulled himself up and stared out to the city below.  

In that moment, it hit me.  Here I stood at the top of a mountain, and the view was beautiful.  To get there, I had squeezed through some tight areas and slowly worked my way up some stairs.  I felt like that night was a representation of the previous, nearly six years of my life.  The only difference was, this time I was seeing the view as beautiful.  I stood up there and began to cry as I realized that I was missing the beautiful moments, because I was staying focused on the challenges.  

I said earlier that night was the "start" of things making sense.  I still have my days that I struggle, but I often reflect back to that  moment on the mountain, and this year, I was anxious to make that trip back up there.

As I reflect back over the last seven years now, I have learned so much, and my faith has grown tremendously, as I have faced moments that I had to rely on God.  I thought that was His purpose in this, but I believe there was more.  There are things that many of you can apply to your lives, even if you never have a special needs kid.  

1) Enjoy life where you are.  It is so easy to focus on what is going wrong and miss what is going right. 

2) God is our Father.  Like any father, He wants to hear from us.  Some of my greatest healing moments were talking to God when I was the angriest.

3) We don't know what God has in store for us.  We may think we know where life is going, but we are likely wrong.  I never thought I would be a special needs father.  I definitely never thought that God would teach me to love it. You have to continue to push forward and trust.

4) Share your story, no matter how ugly.  I am blown away at how many families I've met with special needs kids.  You never know how many people are struggling and feeling alone with the same struggle you have.  

5) I have come to learn that these special needs kids are actually special forces kids.  They are tough, resilient, and can pull you into their world full of love.  

Pick Up Your Stones

One of the beauties of reading the Bible is that you can pick up something different every time, depending on your current life situation.  I've read the story of David in Goliath numerous times.  I've heard it taught from elementary through adulthood, and yet I get a different lesson out of it nearly every time.  I truly believe that every little detail in the Bible is there for a reason.  It is those details that add that different lesson to each reading. 

This week I was reading through the story once again when something occurred to me that I hadn't thought of before.  Why did David pick up five stones?  If you understand the training that he had undergone, you would know that he would have complete faith in himself to make the hit with the first stone.  There would be no doubt that he would achieve enough velocity to easily strike down the giant that stood before him.  Yet, he selected five stones. 

How many times in life do we face an individual battle?  There's a reason for the saying "when it rains, it pours".  I believe that one reason that David chose five stones, was because he knew the enemy rarely used a single attack, and he was prepared to face the next enemy, should he choose to attack. 

I believe, like David, we need to pick up our five stones, because the enemy will rarely send a single attack, and we must be prepared for each one.  Here are five stones that I believe are essential to our battle readiness.

1) God's Word.  This is our battle plan.  This is where we will receive our instructions for battle and learn to understand our enemy. 

2) Prayer.  It is one thing to read the battle plan, but there is much more to be said for spending time with the commander.  It is through prayer, which is simply conversation with God, that He will bring to light an understanding of what we have studied in His word. 

3) Worship.  Worship is so much more than music.  Worship is a way of showing total reverence to God.  It is a celebration of who He is and a reminder to us of the battles He has already lead us through.  It is an anthem to let the enemy know that we are celebrating his defeat before the next battle even begins.

4) Protective measures.  We all have our battles that we face.  When you have a weakness in war, you would be foolish not to create a barrier or put in place a plan to protect you from the vulnerability of that weakness.  For some, this will be a blocker on your internet that only your spouse has access to.  Maybe for you it is complete vulnerability with your finances with someone you trust.  It may even be to professional / clerical counseling to deal with anger or struggles from your past.

5) Brotherhood.  This is an often overlooked, yet essential part of facing our battles.  As men, we tend to believe we're alone in our battles, no one else will understand what we're struggling through.  We must find a few guys that we can trust and share our battles with one another. 

As David did, let's pick up our stones, study our enemy, and charge into battle. 

Giving Satan Extra Credit

I follow several men's groups online, and I've been involved in several small groups, camps, and retreats as well.  I can't tell you how many times I've heard guys say, "I'm really under a spiritual attack right now."  Now, don't get me wrong, I believe in spiritual warfare, and I'm all for praying for someone who is facing a hard time.  We are definitely facing an enemy that wants nothing more than to take us out (John 10:10). 
But I have to wonder if we're not giving Satan extra credit at times.  For example, if you eat horribly and are struggling to get the energy to do what you know needs to be done, this is a result of your lifestyle, not necessarily a spiritual attack.  If you've been unfaithful to your wife, and you are struggling to earn back her trust, you are facing the consequences of your past mistakes. 
This doesn't mean Satan can't use your past or this situation against you, or when you get that feeling that you are unworthy because of your past, that Satan isn't using those thoughts as a method of warfare to take you out of the game.  I just feel that sometimes as men, we take the easy route of calling it a spiritual attack, rather than owning up to the consequences of our past mistakes. 
Whether spiritual warfare or simply the results of our past, I still believe the approach needs to be the same. 
1) We have to acknowledge our part in what we are struggling through.  Let's use the example of unfaithfulness.  We must acknowledge this, not only to God, but to the wife we've been unfaithful to.  Whether forgiveness is initially given or not, honesty is the start to healing and the removal of guilt.
2) Put measures in place to prevent a return to the sin.  This may include cutting all connections with someone, placing porn blockers on your devices, and allowing your spouse or someone you trust complete access to your life, including all electronics. 
3) To piggy back off of the "someone you trust" point, find a few guys you know you can trust to stand with you through your recovery.  If you don't have those guys, seek them out.  They're out there.  Having guys in my life that I can be completely transparent with has been key to me dealing with my personal struggles. 
4) Trust God through the process.  God will give grace and forgiveness as soon as we truly repent and ask for it.  He never guarantees instant healing, or even a simple path to healing.  Ask God daily what He wants you to learn through that day's struggles.  There may be times you are impatient and get frustrated, but you must continue to trust God and do what you know is right in the process. 
I am on the same journey as every other man who is seeking to be closer to God.  I don't have all the answers, and I'm sure many of you could break these down into better steps or may have better insight into this subject than I do.  I do believe in spiritual warfare.  I also believe that whether that's what we are facing or the consequences of our past mistakes, God is still the same.  He offers amazing grace, and He is a loving God who wants to walk with you through the process.
I welcome any thoughts or feedback that you may have.

Purposeful Struggles

Recently, a great family in our church was faced with a horrific tragedy when they received a phone call that their son was killed in a motorcycle accident.  This was a family that not only loved God, but whose other son was recently baptized and was turning his life around.  As I spoke with the dad, I couldn't help but ask myself why this would happen to such a great family, and I was immediately faced with the fear of how this might affect their other son's newly found faith. 

Over the next couple of days, I would reflect back on my own life.  I thought about my mother who died a horrible death after battling cancer, my brother who had gone through cancer himself with a young family and lost all he had at the time and had to start over, and lastly about my six year old son who was born prematurely and would have to live out his life with severe cerebral palsy.  Why would God allow so much suffering in the lives of those who had chosen to follow him? 

Throughout the week following their son's death, this family continued to trust God and used this as an opportunity to share His love with friends of their son.  Did they suffer and have moments they struggled? Absolutely!  But in the end, it was obvious where their faith was through this difficult time.

Then something unexpected happened...at least for me.  The day of the funeral, six people who had been watching how this family lived their lives during this tragedy gave their lives to Christ.  I was even able to be present at the tear jerking baptism of one of the young ladies who did so.  When I received the news that six people had been saved, I had my answer, and it seemed so simple.

God cares for all of us, whether we are his followers or not. 

By allowing this family who was already part of His family to face difficult times, six others would become part of His eternal family.  Again, I reflected back on my own life.  My mom had incredible faith through out her struggle with cancer, and there is no doubt that she was being watched by others.  My brother's faith through his cancer was the very reason I would come back to church.  Finally, my son's struggles with cerebral palsy.  His story was shared across the country through a blog that I wrote during those difficult times, as well as being sent out to missionaries in 13 different countries who would share our story with those they would witness to.

I believe that God allows those of us who have faith in Him to go through difficult times, because it is in those moments that those who don't have faith in Him can see how our faith carries us through those difficult times.  It is in those moments of seeing the relationship we have with Christ carry us through our struggles that people are able to see past the hypocrisy and hurt they have seen or felt from church in the past.  They see that it is a genuine faith, rather than a religious practice. 

Does this make those moments easy for us as believers?  No way.  I still have struggles with my son's condition, but I am also more aware now more than ever, that God has called me to stand strong in my faith and trust Him, so that those who are watching can see Him through my life.